7 weeks, 6 days

I was asked recently how I was doing, well I am asked that all the time...but this time it was followed by additional questions, one being, "are you blaming God?" Previous to this, I hadn't really given the idea of blaming God much thought. I don't believe He caused this or that he wanted our baby to die, He knows what it is like to lose a son. This world is a sinful place, and our sin has caused our suffering. As I thought more about God's role in this situation, He is certainly not to blame, but deserves the glory for us making it this far. He didn't heal our son, but He is healing me everyday and His hand is so obviously at work in this situation. The day I received the call from the doctor, my mom "happened" to be with me. The day I went into labor my sister and brother in law were in town to watch the kids so both sets of our parents could be with us at the hospital. My mom just "happened" to be with me again when I went into labor. My c-section recovery has also been miraculous, I have felt physically normal since about day 7. These are just a few of the big examples, there have been countless times when in my darkest moments He is there. I know God is at work around and in me everyday, but it is so easy not to stop and notice and give him the thanks he deserves. One of my goals is to notice Him more and be thankful.