Went to the ob/gyn today. We discussed what day we will do the c-section. It looks like February 15th is the day (assuming we make it that far). It was difficult to discuss this, I know we were choosing the day of Lucas' birth, but it felt a lot like choosing his date of death.
I have decided that the last few months of my life have aged me years instead of months. When I look in the mirror I see the obvious changes; the belly, the 25 pounds, but I also see a change in my face. I don't know if it is exhaustion or stress or likely both, but when I look at myself I see someone who is much older than 29.
We are marching on toward Christmas, doing our very best to stay extra busy. I have a feeling Christmas will be a difficult day. Please pray that it is a joyful day...that we can keep the focus on Christ and celebrate what his birth meant for us. Especially, in this situation, knowing that Lucas will be resting in the arms of Jesus and that we will see him again is an immeasurable gift.
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