Sunday December 26, 2010

Sunday my family came over that would normally be at my grandparents' house. It was a nice day, kinda quiet. More presents....oh my! We talked about Lucas a little bit and it was okay. I haven't really mentioned Drew's reaction to all of this and that is because he hasn't really had one. I'm not sure if we will see his grief manifest in various ways over the next few weeks or if his 4 year old reaction to all of this was just acceptance and he has moved on. We explained to him what happened and he saw my super cool staples and he just seems really okay. Praise the Lord! I'm not totally sure what happens now. Tomorrow the Christmas festivities will be over and we will start returning to life as usual. Mike is taking at least this next week off work. My dad has thankfully taken care of all the funeral home arrangements. Tomorrow the coroner will sign the death certificate and then the cremation will happen. I am working really hard at not thinking about any of that. We have decided to place his ashes in a mausoleum at a cemetery. Again, my dad is handling all of that. I don't plan on seeing his ashes any time soon. We are not having a formal service for him. There has been a lot of talking and processing happening naturally over the last couple days and we feel like that is the kind of thing we need right now. I will update again. I know his passing is the end of some things, but only the beginning of so many others. I am trusting God to lead me through these next few weeks and months just as he has the past few months. He has given me a lot of hope, this is certainly a tough situation, but even in the midst of it I feel hope.