This morning we met with a doctor from the team of neonatologists that will a part of Lucas' birth. I was completely dreading this meeting and for good reason. We spent an hour talking and crying about what should be a happy day, but instead is going to be the worst day of our lives. The information we received was very valuable, but still very difficult to hear. The doctor was fantastic and we were very pleased with her. I will just outline what we discussed.
-If Lucas is stillborn we will get to hold him for as long as we wish and then he will be taken to the morgue and we will need to make arrangements for his cremation with a funeral home. After we say goodbye I will be moved out of the maternity ward.
-If Lucas is born alive, he will be brought directly to me and I will get to hold him while my doctor finishes the C-section. Then, they will clean him up and bandage his stomach. At that point we will have him with us until he passes. If he lives past 4-6 hours they will feed him with a feeding tube, t18 babies can rarely suck. I will have to decide if I will pump for him or give him formula.
-Because he has significant structural abnormalities, the neonatologist guesses (and it is purely and educated guess) that if he survives to birth he will not survive more than a couple days.
I feel like I am writing a textbook, just sharing factual information...it is very difficult to fathom that this is our reality. I can see my belly move as I sit and type this. I guess I will do my best to turn my focus to Thanksgiving and try my best to remember that I am very blessed and have a lot to be thankful for.
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