Wednesday November 10, 2010 (25 wks)

It has been a roller coaster of emotions over the last few weeks. I have grieved and cried, but over the last few days I have become indignant and full of questions. I tend to question things, in general, I don't accept things at face value. I have a need to dig deeper and really understand. I realized that I had just accepted what this doctor had told me, that my baby would die, whether it be tomorrow or in the next few months, the end result for my son was death. Why was I willing to accept that? So, I began doing a lot of internet research. The problem with my research was that internet information is not always accurate and in reading case studies there were outcomes, but not exact explanations of symptoms and what type of trisomy 18 the child had. My research led me to more questions than answers, but I am prepared to go to our appointment on Friday with the perinatologist and genetic counselor and get some answers. I feel more in control of the situation. I guess that is something.