Saturday, November 27, 2010
Saturday November 27, 2010
I think that I have always believed and known down deep that the only thing I can really rely on in this world is God. I thought that I relied on God, but truly I am a proud, self sufficient person who doesn't like to rely on anyone or at least not admit that I do. However, never before have I been so broken, isolated, terrified and helpless as now. I feel that I really understand now what it means to rely on God. In the moments when I sob and cry out to Him and the times when I feel as if I can't go on, He is it. He is enough and He reminds me of all the reasons I have to take another step and keep going for my family. He shines His light in this darkness and I can see there are good things happening to me all around this situation. I have no idea how I would walk through this without his arm around me. I believe that Lucas' life will bring glory to God and perhaps this is just one of the ways that it will happen. Hope is a wonderful thing, I have hope that Lucas will be healed, and I have the hope of knowing that I will see my baby in Heaven someday.
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Emily, your story breaks my heart. I pray so fervently for you and continue to cry many many tears for you and your family. After some very close friends lost their baby girl, we found solace in this passage from Erwin W. Lutzer's book "One Minute After You Die" (p. 75):
ReplyDelete"The death of an infant, however, causes all of us to struggle with the will and purpose of God. It seems strange that God would grant the gift of life and then cause it to be snuffed out before it could blossom into a stage of usefulness. But we can be sure that there is a purpose in such a life, even if it is not immediately discernible.
"James Vernon McGee says that when a shepherd seeks to lead his sheep to better grass up the winding, thorny mountain paths, he often finds that the sheep will not follow him. They fear the unknown ridges and sharp rocks. The shepherd will then reach into the flock and take a little lamb on one arm and another on his other arm. Then he starts up the precipitous pathway. Soon the two mother sheep begin to follow, and afterward the entire flock. Thus they ascend the tortuous path to greener pastures.
"So it is with the Good Shepherd. Sometimes He reaches into the flock and takes a lamb to Himself. He uses the experience to lead His people, to lift them to new heights of commitment as they follow the little lamb all the way home."
Also, I wanted to let you know of an organization called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." They are group of photographers who will take beautiful pictures of the of infants who have died under 6 months old or in utero. They are a volunteer service, so there is no charge.
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