We muddled through the rest of the week. We made it our goal to not be idle. I made play dates and we had dinner with someone every night. After the kids went to bed, Mike and I would play video games or watch television. Anything to keep our minds off the one thing that it was impossible to forget, we were going to lose our son.
We had another appointment with the perinatologist today. He confirmed what all our internet research had said. We were going to lose our baby, it could be tomorrow or next week, next month or he could survive a few hours or days, even weeks after being born, but the end result would be the same. Talking to him made it all very raw again. It was a difficult day. After our appointment we came home and made a few phone calls, put out a request for prayer to our church and on facebook. Our son had been given a death sentence, but I still wasn't giving up. We serve a God who heals and we will continue to pray for healing. I try hard to balance my faith and belief in healing with the realism that God may choose not to heal my baby. I may never understand all this, but can only trust God has a plan for my family and my baby boy. We did our best to pull ourselves together, picked up the kids and went to Chuck E. Cheese. What better way to forget my troubles than immersing yourself in my beautiful children.
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